Of course every couple is different and there is no one catch-all strategy that will magically transform your relationship into fairytale bliss. With that said, the relationship can only mirror what you feel (what you’re vibrating) so if the relationship is floundering, you’ve got do something to feel differently and attract better energy (feelings and behavior) from your partner.
Raising Your Vibration to Keep Your Relationship Happy
2. Choose to see the best. Choose to see the best in each other, instead of settling into a pattern of seeing the worst. Why is it that people seem to focus in on each others’ quirky and annoying habits and traits? What happens is that once you zone in on one annoying habit, you unconsciously go on the lookout for other things that will annoy you – only because you’ve lowered your vibration. You can’t change people so don’t bother. Instead, change your perception of the habit or trait. Ask yourself why it bothers you. Ask yourself if there’s anything you can do about it. And if not, ask yourself why you feel you can’t accept it. You might just find that you CAN accept it after all. Add it to the list of things that make your partner interesting and unique!
3. Play. Too often we get caught up in work, kids and household chores and it’s easy to put the relationship on the back burner. Don’t do this! Make time to play together. Date each other. Make dates for sex, find a sport or hobby you both enjoy, go exploring together… just don’t get in the habit of plunking yourselves on the couch and watching TV every night. Boredom = relationship disaster. Play is fun, and fun is full of good feelings. Good feelings = high vibration!
4. Argue with respect. You’re both different, with different backgrounds and perspectives. Do your best to see things from your partner’s point of view so that you can more easily come to a happy resolution. To have productive arguments: no name-calling, no dredging up the past, no blaming, and no “you did” or “you should.” State your point calmly, lovingly, and with a resolution in mind, not the cheap thrill of revenge. Be sure not to “react” emotionally; give yourself a time out and when you’re calmer, “respond” with the goal in mind: happy resolution.
5. Be good partners. Have some goals together, anything from helping each other clean out the garage to backpacking the Colorado Trail. It’s easier to share the daily burdens if you have mutual goals, and of course if you ask nicely instead of demanding or assigning chores. When one of you is faced with a challenge (such as a financial challenge, or recent weight gain) take it on together instead of saying “you should get your finances under control” or “you need to hit the gym.”
6. Respect and appreciate each other. Don’t take him or her for granted, and show interest in them, even if their passions and interests are polar opposites from yours. Ask questions, respect their expertise, and support their goals.
7. Have your own life. You had friends before you became a couple, and those friendships can easily fall by the wayside of you don’t nurture them. Don’t be joined at the hip with your partner. Have a girl’s or guy’s night out, and TRUST each other to have lives outside the relationship. You also have your own interests and passions. Don’t give those up! Be you, go for your own dreams, and do what you love!
8. Speak up. Your partner can’t read your mind. If you have ideas, values, concerns, desires, feelings and needs – of course you do, you’re a human being – don’t avoid voicing them for fear of hurting your partner’s feelings. It’s better to clear the air now, rather than deal with a major explosion later when all of your swept-under-the-rug resentments rear their ugly heads. Besides, if you don’t voice what’s inside you, you have no right at all to get huffy if your partner doesn’t meet your expectations!
9. Don’t set expectations. We all go into relationships with expectations of what this person will do for us. Let them go. No one can make you happy; no one can complete you; no one can fill a ‘hole’ inside you. You were complete and just fine before your partner came along, so don’t become your partner’s appendage. Be yourself! Let your partner be him/herself! Just set the intention to enjoy each other’s company, and to be happy to have someone to share your life with.
You can always look to your body for answers if you don’t know what to do. Your mind/body/soul is one entity, not separate, and a lot of intuitive wisdom comes via physical cues. Listen to things like: insomnia, indigestion, cold sweats, pit in the stomach, tightness around the heart, lightness, heaviness, energy, fatigue… these can signal something else but they can also be directly related to your emotions.
Approach your relationship with the end result in mind – happiness and love – you’ll weather any storm and keep things humming along smoothly.